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A case of pre-Grey Cup jitters

In this space last week I allowed that by hook or crook I would watch Sunday’s Grey Cup. The reason I wasn’t watching it at  home is because I refuse to shell out huge coin bumping up basic cable to get TSN, the network that aired the big game.
I managed to mooch a spot in my friend’s living room that sports a jumbo screen and  all sorts of bells and whistles.
“I can’t thank you enough for having me over,” I said upon arrival at his place. “Otherwise I would be hanging out at some bar watching the game.”
I arrived with chips and chicken wings in hand. On his stove was a fresh batch of chile, another championship game staple.
“What channel is the game on?” he asked.
“The Sports Network,” I replied.
“Uh oh,” he said, scrolling through hundreds of stations he gets on satellite. “I don’t subscribe to it.”
Bye-bye chips, wings and chile, I thought to myself, and hello local tavern. I would have felt bad abandoning food and friend, but this was the 100th Grey Cup in my hometown featuring my beloved Toronto Argonauts.
My friend is a clever sort and figured he would give the service provider a call and see if they could flip a switch and give us TSN on the spot. Well, after more than half an hour of “Your call is important to us,” they did just that – the station was freed up for our viewing pleasure.
Ain’t technology grand? However, when I recounted this tale at work Monday morning a wag noted that sure, adding a station or stations, they will be most accommodating. Try removing stations or cancelling the service, that’s another story.
However, all ended up rather well. The game itself wasn’t the usual barn-burner, but that’s okay. The right team won, just as I predicted.
• • •
While on the topic of the Canadian Football League, there is an awful lot of excitement in our midst about the Hamilton Tiger-Cats playing in Guelph next year.
While we see the benefits of the move, Hamilton seems lukewarm to the idea. I get it. After all, when your home team moves about 50 kilometres up the highway, home team doesn’t quite ring true. Besides, Hamilton is Steeltown and Guelph is allegedly the Granola Capital of Canada.
Last Tuesday Hamilton Spectator editorial cartoonist Graeme MacKay teed off on what Hamiltonians can expect in Guelph next season. In the first panel there is a long lineup of cars heading to Guelph, but  they’re stuck in traffic at Morriston. The second panel sees a Ti-Cat fan lamenting, “But I ordered a beer! Not this fancy orange stuff.” The third panel sees the same fan trying to pronounce Gryphons. In the next panel the fan asks, “Know where to grab a bite to eat?” A hippie-ish looking fellow replies, “Sure what do you prefer? Vegan? Organic? Raw food? Fruitarian? Gluten-free?”
The last panel shows a long line of cars heading back to Hamilton with one of the drivers commenting, “There’s always 2014.”

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